


Scattered

by Ilunal



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Depression, Sad!Aang, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tissue Warning, Two Shot, Worried Katara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilunal/pseuds/Ilunal
Summary: When Aang and Katara have a fight, Aang reaches his breaking point and does something drastic. Can Katara save her husband from himself? Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 38





	Scattered

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The last Airbender

**Scattered**

_They were panting, looking at each other’s eyes, faced flushed with anger. It was their worst fight yet, and it didn’t look like it would be ending soon._

_“Katara, I’m doing the best I can- “_

_“Well, your best isn’t enough Aang!” The fight came from nowhere. One moment they were laughing and talking about their future, the next moment they were yelling, fighting over everything and nothing._ _“You’re never home, and when you are, you’re just with Tenzin. I understand you need to teach him Airbending, but you’re forgetting your other children Aang. You’re forgetting me!”_

_And Aang understood. It wasn’t as if he was never thinking about it. About his ever increasing_ _duties and responsibilities as the Avatar. Meetings, fighting terrorists, visiting kings, queens and presidents all over the world, certainly didn’t leave much room for family time. But Aang always thought he was doing the best he could, that he was a decent father and husband._ _Apparently, his wife and children didn’t believe so._

_“I’m a healer, I need to work too. And when I come home, I need to feed and entertain three children. You’re always away, sometimes for months at a time. I’m always worried and stressed, Aang. And when you’re home, it’s as if your entire attention is focused on just one child. I need you to do this with me. But with how it is right now, I don’t think I can go on like this.”_

The fight played in Aang’s mind like a broken record, repeating itself over and over in his head. His hands were trembling as he took the knife from the kitchen table, the blade shining in the moonlight which was falling through the balcony windows. Aang slowly and carefully slid his finger over the edge of the blade, testing its sharpness. They rarely used the blade as it was a gift from the Earth Kingdom, when they managed to save them from pestering terrorists.

When he felt the blade dig into his fingertip Aang resisted to slice open his finger. He can’t do that in their house. Satisfied with the edge’s sharpness, he put the knife into his left pocket of his trousers, and silently made his way out of the house, leaving his sleeping family behind.

* * *

It’s not as if he had had suicidal thoughts before. On the contrary, being raised as an Air Nomad, the importance of life was drilled into his head as soon as he could walk. Suicide wasn’t a problem in the Air Nation, or at least it was never an issue talked about, as the mere thought of taking a life, one’s _own_ life seemed as absurd as talking lemurs.

It wasn’t until the suicide of a council member when Aang started to think about it. He was appalled by the thought and couldn’t quite understand why someone would think of themselves as not worthy of life. But after talking with some friends about it, he started to understand, and even sympathise with the council member. Aang knew that he had just lost his entire family in a fire, and his other, more distant relatives cut off all contact with him. He was abandoned by the people who were supposed to take care of him. And that got him to shoot himself in his study.

Losing people was nothing new to the young Avatar, having lost his entire family and nation under Sozin’s hand, and while he may never have had the urge to kill himself, he certainly felt as if the world was better off without him.

And today was no different, only that the urge to kill himself had been luring, sitting in the back of his mind for a few months, since he had to leave his family again for a council meeting.

The fights, the guilt, the shame and the anxiety of losing his wife and children were feeding his suicidal thoughts. The more days he needed to be away from them, the worse the fights got, and the worse the depression was. Aang wanted to talk to his wife about it, but realised, that him talking about his depressed mood would only make him worse a burden.

This essentially left him by himself with his thoughts, which all turned darker and darker by the day, and ultimately, left him standing on the beach, with a kitchen knife in his hand.

The knife was trembling in his hands as he pressed the blade against his left wrist. The sharp, stinging pain of the edge against his skin, made him flinch. But he continued and managed to make his first cut.

It barely bled.

Aang silently cursed and pressed the blade harder until he felt the dig deep into his skin, blinding hot pain searing through his body.

Blinking away the dark spots dancing in front of his eyes, Aang pressed harder, feeling the warm, slightly sticky blood dripping from his arm onto the sand with a silent splat.

After a few more deep cuts, Aang switched the knife from his right hand to his left. His entire body was sweating, his legs were shaking, and his breathing was fast and uneven. Aang felt as if his heart was about to burst through his chest.

Just as he was about to repeat the process on his right arm, his surroundings around him suddenly grew white, and the loud sounds of helicopters and loudspeakers made his ears hurt. Squinting, he looked up and saw a dark grey helicopter with several men on it, calling out his name. They were _Metalbenders_ , which meant that Toph was here as well, which meant that _someone_ must have called the police force.

Katara.

Panicking, Aang hastily slid the blade over his entire arm and blood pumped fast out of his wound, creating a large puddle underneath him. Aang felt how his consciousness began to slip, how his arms grew numb. He fell on his knees, head lowered, and his arms rested limply at his side. He barely registered how one of the Metalbenders lowered him onto the sandy ground, how someone was wrapping his arms with a bandage, how someone was crying messily beside him.

His world turned dark.

* * *

Katara wished she could reverse time.

But of course, that was all it would remain: a wish.

Over and over the fight played through Katara’s head, making her dizzy. She never intended to hurt him, to make him feel as if he wasn’t a good father, because this is simply just not _true_.

The anger and frustration were building up over the months, _years_ ; with Aang being away for months at a time, all responsibilities and duties as a parent fell on her.

Marrying the Avatar came with its drawbacks, she was very aware of that. But even when at the young age of twenty, when Aang proposed to her in the South Pole on the very iceberg the had first met, the fact that Aang would be away often wasn’t new information. But despite all that, she married him and never regretted it. And she still didn’t regret it. But in her frustration, she told Aang the exact opposite; that she couldn’t do it anymore, that their _children_ couldn’t do it anymore.

So, when she read Aang’s suicide note, she felt her entire world come to a halt, her heart stopping and her lungs begging for air. Never in a million years would she have imagined her husband, the most optimistic and life-loving person she knew, wanting to take his life.

But at the same time, it didn’t surprise her.

She may have been frustrated and angry at her husband, but that didn’t mean she missed his depressed and sombre mood over the past few months. He grew quieter, his smiles lessened in frequency and his laughs sounded increasingly faked. His eyes had lost the happy and childish gleam she fell in love with.

But with the fights they were having, she selfishly thought that Aang would come to her about it, and that she wasn’t obliged to cater for his every need since _he_ hasn’t been able to do so for her and the kids for the longest time.

Katara could’ve hit herself.

But she had other priorities, than blaming herself for it.

‘There’s enough time for that later, Katara,’ she thought, while running around the island, calling out for her husband.

It felt like years, but was not more than half an hour, before the police force located her husband, who was kneeling at the beach on the other side of the island with a knife.

His face was pale, and his breathing was laboured. Katara felt her stomach drop, when she saw the big puddle of blood on the sand. She quickly ran over to him and helped the Metalbenders to put Aang in a lying position.

“Aang please,” she muttered brokenly while bandaging his arms. His eyes were closed, and his breathing slowed.

“Please stay.”


End file.
